Written by a former Daystar kid

 

It's good to be home. That's what I keep thinking as I prepare to ride in my third Bike Thing in eighteen years. That, and I hope this one doesn't end in me laying on the ground refusing to go on a mere mile or two from the finish line.

Daystar and I have been supporting each other for eighteen years. I wouldn't have imagined at thirteen years old that this place would become a beacon light through the decades of my life. I came to Daystar as a child needing a place to be honest about pains and disappointments and what I found was a group of people who would usher me into and through my tormented teens, ease me into young adulthood and celebrate with me through graduations, career choices and marriage.

My husband and I left Nashville for several years after we were married to pursue our careers and just last year returned home. One of the most amazing things about being back is being surrounded by people who really know me. Not the version of myself I've been fine-tuning for most of my life, but the raw, unedited version. Not the charming, polished, perfect me, but the stubborn, joyful, confused me.

And now into the next era of my life, I'll be a mother in a couple short months. Some nights I lie in bed and all I can pray is, Dear God, PLEASE do not let me ruin this kid's life. How am I going to give my child what she needs while still juggling marriage, career, friendships, health and home? Surely I am going to fail. Surely I am going to be exposed for the fraud that I am.

Daystar didn't fix me; it did something so much greater. Daystar put people in my life who know me and somehow still love and support me relentlessly. As it turns out, I still need Daystar. I still need to be reminded that I am going to fail, and that it's ok because I know who I am and I know my worth. Perfection is not going to bring me happiness. Love will. Giving will. Watching my child grow into her own will. And when my child realizes that I've been faking it and that I really have no idea what I'm doing, I know where she will be...Daystar's first toddlers group. For the peace this brings me, I am eternally grateful.

I am just one of thousands of kids for whom Daystar has been a beacon light of truth, hope and love, and on behalf of all of us, I thank you for your support. I live and love better because of this place. It's good to be home.

With hope,

A Daystar Lifer